Monday, August 24, 2009


Ha! Did you think I was going to sing a David Bowie song to ya? It is what came to my mind... hence the title to this post. However... I will spare ya my singing... Unless you want dogs to howl along with me *Ü* Yes,I'm that bad at it.

Ah..."The Change"..... My oldest is moving out! He will be an intern at our church for the next year and will be moving into a house with another friend/intern on church property. He will also go back and finish his AA at the local CC.

Im ready for this... and then... not so much....

Its strange but I have mixed feelings about it all. I am completely excited for him and all the new experiences he will be walking into.... and then I'm completely sad that he is grown up enough to move out!

Yes, I know this is what we do as parents. We put in our time to raise them and we grow them so they can be independent from mom and stand on their own 2 feet.... but its bitter sweet. I love him. I will miss seeing him... even if its for 10-15 minutes at a time! lol He works and is gone a lot anyway. BUT!! Knowing he "wont" be sleeping and living here is hard for me. Sad...

I will miss hearing him play his guitar every morning and every evening he is home. That's such a great sound coming down the hallway. I will miss him coming into the office and standing behind me... this is where we talk a lot.

I know he wants to talk because he just stands there and says nothing... LOL...ya I know... no talking.... well for him it is an indicator for me that he wants to visit. *Ü* No talking is him initiating the conversation... lol See he has taught me a lot too! I'm learning to pick up on blue (man) talk!! *Ü* I learned to decipher what he is saying.. when he is not saying anything!!! Not to

We just celebrated his 20th birthday this month. We had a roast/toast time... but it was really more reminiscing than anything. It was fun hearing stories about him from his friends... and then his friends were able to hear stories from when he was little... times like on his 5th birthday he put a golf tee through his ear drum.... or when he was picking cherries in a tree 10 or 11 feet up in a cherrie tree and the branch broke from under him. This was also his first ambulance ride *Ü*......or the last 2 rope swings he was on....broke mid swing on him... one resulting in whiplash and a mild concussion...Seriously... this all happened.. and many more.. those were the first few that popped in my mind...

But... we also had those awe, moments... My favorite story was when he was 4 years old. Shawn would clap his hands together and say... "lets talk mom...clap.... lets talk" *Ü* I have no idea where he got that... but he did that a lot. *Ü* One night he said that after a bible story... we had just finished Jonah, he said... "mom, it would not be any fun to play hide and seek with God, Would it?" and I said, "sure it would. Why do you say that?" and he said, " because God would never have to turn around to find you, He already knows where you are."

Uh! These are the things that make me tear up... Remembering.... I need to look to the future I know... He is all grown up now... and has much more growing to do through his lifetime... yup.. got the memo... Its just hard...

I remember Mary in scripture....and how she hid things in her heart as Jesus grew... I cant help but think this must be similar... we moms cherish the little things... not just the big. We hide it in our hearts.

Ahhh...I need to be more like Shawn and remember the wisdom of a 4 year old... God will never have to turn around... He already knows right where Shawn is.


Rhonda said...

Oh, Lisa my first thought was how we have to give our children roots then give them wings and let them fly. It is so painful sometimes. Shawn is such a handsome young man and I know that you have done a great job with him.
I love his four year old quote about not playing hide and seek with God. Just take that to heart when you are missing him dreadfully.

Gretchen said...

Thank you for sharing your heart. I totally get right where your at as I can already feel the flap flap of our oldests' wings. Same thing, it will be bitter sweet. But if you could order any transition from home to on your own I think the Lord has orchestrated a great one for he and you. We are always the mama!